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Archive for September, 2009

I decided last night to start the Boston job search, prior to actually moving there. That was apparently a really good idea! I applied to all the applicable nanny and office jobs I could find on Craigslist. I applied to so many positions that I got an email from Craigslist, saying that there had been too much activity from my email account! When I checked my email today I had at least 15 emails from the positions I applied for. I even talked to a lady on the phone regarding a place to live in exhange for childcare. I wasn’t sure what it would be like to apply for jobs while I’m still here in Seattle, but apparently it doesn’t make much of a difference! I really wasn’t expecting to have this much success so quickly! I think it’s a sign. The town is right between Boston and where David will be living….pretty much a perfect location if you ask me!

I definitely know how to present myself. The emails I send out are well thought out and sound intelligent. The lady I talked to on the phone said the reason she was interested in giving me the position is because I sound intelligent….that she really hasn’t been impressed with the quality of responses she has been getting. I took that as a compliment. It’s good to know I am doing something right! Plus, I really am good at what I do. I love working with kids and I definitely have the skills to do so. Plus, I do have really good references (and CPR certification) so I think that helps too. 🙂

I’m really feeling good about this. The fact that I already have so many options, is really encouraging. After hitting so many dead ends here, it feels good to actually be getting somewhere! Something that is very important to me throughout all of this, is that I don’t want David to feel like he has to take care of me. I asked him if it would be alright for me to stay with him (and his business partner) for a few days to a week until I get everything finalized….and that is all I’m going to ask of him. He, of course, said that was fine. David is a sweetheart. He’s a huge softie who feels the need to take care of people….and I don’t want him to have to do that (because I know he will). PLUS, this is something I need to do for myself. It’s important to me that I find my own place to live and a job as soon as possible….and I am well on my way!

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Moving

So….it’s true. I’m moving to Boston. Originally I wasn’t going to go….that’s pretty obvious, I guess, since I wrote a lot of posts about how much I was going to miss David. 🙂 Logically, if we are going to make this work, I would need to move to Boston eventually. It makes more sense for me to do it now. I didn’t want to get all settled into a job here and then have to move. Plus I would feel unsettled….I wouldn’t want to settle down too much since I would know I would be moving. Not to mention the fact that I would want to be with David and wouldn’t feel settled because of that very important detail. I’m going to stay with him until I can find a place of my own. I am hoping to find a live-in nanny position over there (which is what I wanted here). I’ve already checked Craigslist out and they have a lot more live-in positions there than they do here. I feel pretty confident that I can find something. Because of my recent job nightmare, I would be looking for a job here anyway….I would much rather do it there. Lol. That’s not the reason for me moving there (we decided before that happened) but it helps me feel even MORE sure that I need to move.

Obviously David is a huge factor in my moving, but there’s more to it than that. I so very badly need a change of scenery. I feel uninspired and trapped here. I feel like, for now at least, there is nothing here for me. I love experiencing new places….it makes me feel alive. I moved to Chicago randomly when I was 20, so this actually isn’t that weird for me….and actually this move is less random than that one was. 🙂

David leaves in about a week, and I will fly over there probably a week or two later. I’m not sure what the exact date will be yet. He wants to get a little bit settled before I join him. After all, he’s not going to have a bed, kitchen stuff, or anything like that. He’s going to have to buy all of that when he gets there.

I’m really excited. From everything people have said….I think I’m going to love Boston. 🙂

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Awful Daycare Experience

I got hired at a daycare to be the 2 and 3 year old “teacher”. I was told I would have 7 kids in my charge. They were wanting someone who would be able to abide by the schedule (something the previous teacher wasn’t doing). They also told me not to worry about the schedule for the first few days….that I should just focus on getting to know the kids. Because I was training, the preschool and 2 and 3 year old class was combined….making a total of 15 kids. The first day I mainly observed the preschool age teacher go through the routines. They didn’t tell me all of the rules ahead of time, so I wasn’t aware of some of them. One that threw me off was that the kids were pretty much only allowed to play with the toys for about an hour a day. Put two year olds in a room with a bunch of toys and what are they going to do? Play with them. That is not allowed though. Most of the time was spent trying to keep the kids from playing with the toys and making them sit on the carpet. It seemed mean….I mean why can’t the kids play with the stinkin toys? I felt bad for them….they really didn’t seem to have much fun. The daycare center likes to think that they are a “school”…..it’s not. It’s a daycare. There is a reason that two year olds don’t go to school….they don’t have an attention span. I went along with the rule though. The other thing that threw me off? Naptime was from 12:00 to 2:30. A lot of the kids were awake by 1 (or didn’t go to sleep at all). They are required to stay on their mats until 2:30. How on EARTH do you keep 2 year olds (in a room full of toys) on their mats for an hour and a half?! The first day I let the kids that were awake read books on their mats and I got in trouble. I didn’t know the rule at that point….everyone was at lunch so there was no one to ask. My thinking was: keep the kids that are awake occupied so they don’t wake up the sleeping kids. Once I learned the rule, I obviously didn’t make the same mistake the next day. The one year olds were in the room right next door and they do the same thing to them….they are forced to stay in their cribs until 2:30. If I was a parent, I wouldn’t like that my baby (after all, one year olds are still babies) to be sitting in a crib crying her head off. I felt like their expectations were a bit ridiculous.

Wednesday rolls around (that was my third day working there) and the preschool teacher who was “training” me told me that she was just going to observe me that day. I’m sorry, that’s not fair. I shouldn’t have been asked to take care of 15 kids by myself….that’s not realistic. If you ever have more than 7 or 8 kids in a class, the state requires that you have an assistant. Not to mention the fact that the preschool teacher couldn’t control all of them by herself either. Well, after lunch the director called me in to her office (she hadn’t been at the center ONCE since I’d been hired….she’s always at the Kirkland location. She’s the person who interviewed me though). I was told that they needed someone stronger. I was SHOCKED….because I honestly don’t know what on earth I did wrong. I was just as stern with the kids as they were. The problem was, I was new so the kids were testing me. I never gave in though. PLUS I was told not to worry about the schedule. I was pretty annoyed. Then after telling me this (it was about 1:30) they wanted me to of course stay until 3:30. It was so awkward….I just wanted to leave. I definitely wouldn’t want my kids going to that daycare….I would WANT my kids to be able to play with toys and I wouldn’t want them to be screaming in their beds. When I feel my kids are ready for preschool, I will send them to a real preschool….not a daycare. I never saw anyone play with the kids. I sat them all down on numerous occasions and read them stories….no one else did that. As a result they would bring ME books so I would read to them….they loved it. THAT’S what you should be doing with two and three year olds. I am actually questioning whether or not I want to do early childhood now….it wasn’t a good experience for me.

I’m moving anyway….so I was going to have to quit….I just don’t like how unfair it all was. I mean, they couldn’t have given me a WEEK? They came to this decision after two DAYS. Even an experienced teacher would need more than a couple days to get used to a new routine and new kids. The positive thing is that I made enough money for my plane ticket, so that’s good.

Next entry….where I’m moving to.

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Weird Week

This was a really weird week. I started a job that I really thought I was going to like and was really excited. Then I had an emotional breakdown of sorts on Monday (my poor, poor boyfriend…he should get a medal). In all fairness, the emotional breakdown was due in large part to the fact that it is that time of the month (sorry if that is too much information, but it’s relevant). I had an awesome conversation with the boyfriend regarding his move (I’m very excited about it, but not quite ready to blog about it)….this was the good thing that happened this week. Then Wednesday I ended up losing the awesome job that I was so excited about. It’s all good….I’m moving anyway and was going to have to quit….I just would have liked to work until then! AND it was completely unjust and ridiculous….I’m not quite ready to blog about it, but I will.

On top of all that I feel generally out of sorts and ugly. Ever had those weeks? My self-esteem definitely isn’t at an all-time high this week (mostly related to the TMI I shared above. That coupled with the job loss isn’t making me feel so good about myself that’s for sure). I definitely don’t feel pretty. I need a little extra affirmation right now. Lol.

This week brought absolutely nothing that I expected it to. What it did bring is confirmation that I need to move on from here. I’m convinced there’s nothing here for me right now. This is all very cryptic, I know….but I will blog about it all in due time.

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My Heart is Moving to Boston

I’ve put on a really brave face and haven’t really talked much about how I’m feeling in regards to what my boyfriend is about to do. I feel like I need to get some of those feelings out. At this moment, I am sitting in a public library, next to David, while he makes his moving plans. My heart feels like it’s breaking in half. I’ve known for months that he is doing this….I guess having actual plans made makes it seem more real. I kept wishing with all my heart that he would change his mind….or suddenly decide to take me along. I just didn’t want to believe that he could really just leave me behind. I would never want to hold him back though either. I know he needs to do it….it’s just incredibly hard for me at the same time. I don’t know how to describe it, but it hurts….my heart aches. I’m scared….of the unknown and most of all of losing him. I’ve given too much, grown to understand him too much, been through too much to lose him now.

I feel like I’ve been cut out of his life (I know that isn’t his intention, but stay with me here). He is going to have a life that I know absolutely nothing about it….he’s moving to a place I’ve never seen, with someone I’ve never met, and he’s going to go about his day to day life without me. I wish I could at least SEE where he’s going. I so desperately want to feel like I’m part of it….any of it. After all, it very much affects me. Since I haven’t had any say in any of it, it would be nice to feel like my feelings are being considered. Instead of celebrating 6 months of being together (almost to the day), he’s going to be moving far, far away….how lovely that the dates worked out that way. My heart is moving to Boston without me….mock me for being dramatic….but that’s kind of how it feels.

I feel like I’m losing my best friend….the person who keeps me sane….who is always there for me….who can make me smile no matter how hard my day has been….the person whose hugs can make everything all better. David’s arms make me feel safe….like everything will be okay….that I’m protected….and now I only get to be held by him every couple of months or so. Okay, I have to stop. I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. I just needed to talk about it.

Oh, and by the way….I’m really going to need my friends in a couple weeks….

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Weekend Recap

I feel like I have a lot of blogging to catch up on! It’s been a busy weekend, so I really didn’t take the time to blog. This weekend was definitely fun. Thursday of course was David’s going away party. Friday night we ended up going over to David’s friend Brandon’s house. He was supposed to be having poker night, but seriously every single person (besides us) bailed on him at the last minute. We had a couple drinks and watched “I Love You Man” with him. I was surprised, but I actually enjoyed that movie. I thought it was pretty funny….yet it wasn’t extremely raunchy….therefore appropriate for both males and females. After the movie was over we chatted with Brandon for awhile. It was fun.

My family had a garage sale yesterday. My mom decided she didn’t like having the garage full of stuff anymore….that meant I pretty much had to sell everything I own….except for my bed and my dresser and nightstand….she let me keep that out there….she was threatening to sell those things too. I insisted that I really don’t want to have to buy all that at the same time when I do move out. As it stands now, I have no more kitchen stuff. I was sick of arguing about it, so I kept the things that were most important to me. I’ve moved so much that I really only had the basics and stuff I really wanted to keep anyway, but oh well. The garage sale was supposed to start at 9 yesterday but it was apparently raining. Two hours after it stopped raining they finally got around to setting up shop. I had to leave shortly after they started, which I was kind of glad about. The way my family does things irritates me sometimes….they never do anything the logical way.

Saturday evening was spent taking it easy with David at home. I watched “This Christmas” (a movie) while he worked. I really, REALLY enjoyed that movie. I actually found myself tearing up. I absolutely loved it.

David randomly decided last night that he was going to take me and his family to the Mariners game today. So that’s what we did today. I have been SO wanting to go to a game (it’s been a couple years I think). I really enjoy baseball more than any other sport. We all headed down to Safeco Field today for the game. It started out a little cloudy, but the weather ended up being absolutely BEAUTIFUL by the time the game started. He was so incredibly sweet to do that for all of us (thanks again, Monkey!). The Mariners beat the Yankees (7 to 1), so that was awesome. Griffey also played today so we were all really excited to see him in person. Here’s some pics! 🙂 (Of course!)

David waiting outside the stadium. He's so cute!

David waiting outside the stadium. He's so cute!

Me and David once we sat down.

Me and David once we sat down.

Griffey at bat

Griffey at bat

The view of downtown Seattle from the stadium

The view of downtown Seattle from the stadium

The stadium seriously has amazing views!

The stadium seriously has amazing views!

I really like this one.

I really like this one.

David facebooking at the game. Lol.

David facebooking at the game. Lol.

Mariners win!!!!

Mariners win!!!!

We had to take a little detour after the game, so we saw the Starbucks headquarters!

We had to take a little detour after the game, so we saw the Starbucks headquarters!

I love Safeco. It was the PERFECT day for a baseball game, that's for sure!

I love Safeco. It was the PERFECT day for a baseball game, that's for sure!

The game was so much fun. It was a perfect Sunday. Tomorrow is my first day at my new job. I’m not really nervous, I’m mostly excited. I’m not looking forward to getting up so early (I have to be there at 6am) but I will be done by 3:30….so I consider that worth it. I love having some of my day left when I get off work.

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Fun in Snohomish

Thursday was (one of) David’s going away parties. We went to a pool hall in Snohomish and then to Fred’s Ale House for dinner afterwards. I love Snohomish….first street is so much fun. There’s antique stores, cute little shops, fun bars, and yummy restaurants. I always have so much fun there. I got some pictures so I figured I would share them.

David is excited to be playing pool.

David is excited to be playing pool.

The master at work.

The master at work.

David's brother, Tony

David's brother, Tony

Goofy Guy

Goofy Guy

David chatting with his old friend, Travis.

David chatting with his old friend, Travis.

He looked like he needed a kiss. :)

He looked like he needed a kiss. 🙂

Brandon was taking it very seriously.

Brandon was taking it very seriously.

Jon and Ana

Jon and Ana

Pool is one of David's favorite things in the world to do.

Pool is one of David's favorite things in the world to do.

Trying to get a "normal" picture at Fred's....

Trying to get a "normal" picture at Fred's....

....there we go. :)

....there we go. 🙂

It was a fun night, for sure. Though I wish we had all been gathered together for a different reason, let’s just be honest. 🙂 He has really great friends….I’m sad I won’t really get to hangout with them much after he leaves. 😦 I feel lucky that I actually LIKE his friends! In any case, David loved seeing friends he doesn’t always see. I’m glad he had such a great time. I don’t want my monkey to leave….sigh. That’s a different post for a different day. Actually, it will never be a post….my thoughts and concerns about the whole thing are between me and him….we had a very good discussion about it yesterday. I am proud of my David and will support him whatever he decides to do.

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Look After You

This song by the Fray makes me want to cry…but I like it….

“Look After You”

If I don’t say this now I will surely break
As I’m leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
I’ll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don’t go
Will you won’t you, be the one I always know
When I’m losing my control, the city spins around
You’re the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
I’ll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I’ll look after you

It’s always have and never hold
You’ve begun to feel like home
What’s mine is yours to leave or take
What’s mine is yours to make your own

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So Proud

So there’s a date now….an actual date when I will have to (somehow) say goodbye to my boyfriend so he can move to the opposite side of the country. I haven’t quite figured out how I’m going to do that yet….without dissolving into a mess of tears, I mean….but hopefully I will figure that out between now and then. I’ve been a little sad about it the last couple days. I think it feels more real now that it’s not just an unknown date. I’m looking forward to visiting him though. Luckily my new job provides lots of paid days off around the holidays!

I really am proud of my monkey (that would be David, by the way). He’s so intelligent and determined. He works harder than pretty much anyone I have ever met. He definitely deserves all of the success that his company is experiencing….he has worked his BUTT off for it. He is also one of the most generous people I have ever met. He has helped out so many people that are close to him…if he CAN help, he will….he doesn’t even think twice. He blows my mind everyday….the things he is able to do, how smart he is…..and I love hearing about all of it. I may not understand everything he tells me (shocking, but I am not a computer expert…) but I definitely try. I always tell him that I’m his biggest fan. 🙂 I could brag about him for hours, but I will leave it at that. 🙂 I hope he knows how proud I am of him. I hope he knows that when I get emotional about him leaving it’s only because I’m going to miss him….that I would NEVER want him to not do what he needs to do….that I TOTALLY support him. I’m really excited for him that he gets to have this awesome experience…it’s only natural that I would feel a little bit sad that I don’t get to experience it with him….yet I understand why I can’t. Bottom line? I feel so blessed to have him in my life.

Us at his going away party last night.

Us at his going away party last night.

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