I’ve been sick the past few days. Some sort of sore throat thing….it really sucked. I pretty much laid on the couch, slept, and was grumpy. I become a big baby when I’m sick sometimes. I mean don’t we all just want to be taken care of while we’re sick? 
Yes, I am a perfectly capable 26 year old woman, but when I’m not feeling well I like soup and being cuddled. However, I am far too used to having to take care of myself. The soup’s not quite as good when I have to make it. Plus, it hurt to eat most things. I got some popsicles at the store….those helped. The good news is, I feel better….FINALLY. I’m pretty sure it all had something to do with sinuses/allergies. Because I didn’t have a fever or anything. Lovely, let me tell you. Yesterday was the first day I was actually feeling better and more like myself.
I’m a little down today. Sometimes I feel like I’m just “too much”. I don’t know how to describe that. I read a blog one time (or maybe it was a book? I don’t remember) that described exactly how I sometimes feel. That maybe I expect too much, I’m too emotional, or too goofy, just TOO MUCH. All things that people have told me. And don’t even get me started on the ways in which I feel I’m not enough: not smart enough, not successful enough, not wealthy enough, not pretty enough….the list could go on. My big insecurity though is that people will think I’m not smart. I am very intelligent….I read early and have always been very smart. I can grasp complicated concepts and am able to see all sides of an argument….in fact, I ENJOY a healthy debate now and then. HOWEVER, I’m discovered over my life, that people underestimate me….people treat me like I’m an idiot or an airhead or like I don’t understand things. They act like I’m clueless and naive and I’ve always hated that. Regardless of how I might come across, I ASSURE you, I know exactly what’s going on and exactly what’s up. People rarely give me enough credit. And I hate it. I don’t like it when people are condescending. Of course it just makes me want to prove everyone wrong even more. And I will, I assure you. Just sucks when you see the best in everyone and they can’t see it in you. I have a lot of friends, but very few (I think) who really believe in me. Luckily, I believe in myself.
Okay, enough whining. It’s raining and gray and dreary out (after a couple days in a row of warm, sunny weather) so I think that may be affecting my mood. I also slept for perhaps 3 hours last night….on purpose. I’m trying to get myself back to a more normal sleeping schedule. We’ll see if it works.
Okay, now onto the job hunt.
